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We all have egos, and for people in any position of power —including business leadership roles —that’s no exception.
Having an ego, as psychologist Mike Brooks wrote in Psychology Today, is “not inherently bad. We need a coherent sense of self to differentiate ourselves from others and have a sense of agency.” But Brooks also noted that our ego can “cause us and others to suffer unnecessarily when it becomes overly attached.” Specifically, he pointed out that our egos can cause us to view ourselves as above others or below others. For the purpose of this article, I’m going to focus on the pitfalls of having a big ego if you’re a business leader. As a disclaimer, I’m not a mental health professional. But from my observations, having too big of an ego, like having too much of many other things in life, can be disastrous for your company because it can hinder your ability to do 10 of what I consider the most important things in business.
1. Listen to Feedback
In business, feedback is crucial. It can save you from making bad decisions that could spell the end for your company. Business leaders should be receptive to feedback; they should be willing to listen to it and act on it.
But having a big ego can cause you to not listen to, or even run away from, feedback. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, professor emerita of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, explained it well in a Psychology Today article: People with “high in ego defense motivation fear feedback that suggests they’re less than perfect. Therefore, they avoid any feedback at all.”
2. Empathize With Employees
When you have a big ego, you’re primarily going to be focused on yourself, which can leave you with little to no room to empathize with your employees. You might make decisions that serve you rather than serve everyone.
A 2023 Ernst & Young survey revealed that “workers feel that mutual empathy between company leaders and employees leads to increased efficiency (88%), creativity (87%), job satisfaction (87%), idea sharing (86%), innovation (85%) and even company revenue (83%).” If employees don’t feel that you’re empathetic to their needs, then their productivity and effectiveness can suffer —and, ultimately, they might end up leaving. The Ernst & Young survey found that a benefit to empathetic leadership is a lower rate of employee turnover.
3. Ask for Help
You might not opt to ask for help if you have a big ego because you might think you’re able to handle things on your own.
But the reality is that in business, we all need help at certain points in our journey. We don’t have all the answers, nor should we. If we try to take on the burden of doing everything on our own, thinking that we alone are capable of getting things done the right way, we risk making mistakes and heading in the wrong direction.
4. Collaborate
This brings me to my next point—if you’re hesitant to ask for help due to a big ego, you might also be hesitant about collaborating, thinking that no one else is capable of getting the job done.
But by not collaborating, you miss out on opportunities to move out of your bubble and get perspectives from other people. Working with a team member, a peer at another company or even a neighbor can open up a new world of ideas for you that lead to the next chapter of your business.
5. Be Motivated by More Than the Bottom Line
If you have a big ego, you might seek the recognition that comes from accumulating more material things — which requires money.
Businesses exist to make money, and there’s no denying that. But as business leaders, we shouldn’t be solely motivated by the bottom line. Yes, profits matter, but not at the expense of our own and our employees’ health, our customers’ and communities’ well-being and our planet. We have to care about people if we want to achieve true success, and by putting our egos aside, we can be more attuned to their needs.
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6. Be Honest
When you have a big ego, you’re missing the chance to be honest with yourself. As William Van Gordon, associate professor of contemplative psychology at the University of Derby (U.K.), wrote in Psychology Today, if a “person is said to have a big ego, it implies that they are perceived to be full of their own importance and think they are better than others.”
When you can’t be honest with yourself about your weaknesses and strengths, you miss opportunities to grow as a person and leader. And in being dishonest with yourself, you are, essentially, being dishonest with your employees and the other people around you.
7. Be Selfless
Good leadership, I believe, requires being selfless.
But with a big ego, you believe you’re the most important person, and you’re in it to win it for yourself. You’ll have little to nothing to spare for your team, customers and community.
8. Say ‘No’
I believe that the ability to say “no” is one of the most important skills in business.
But when you believe you’re better than everyone else, you might feel flattered that you’re offered opportunities —and jump at them, neglecting to think about whether or not you actually have the time and energy to commit to those tasks.
If you don’t have the time and energy needed to tackle those opportunities, you’re doing yourself and others a disservice.
9. Say ‘Yes’ When It Counts
If you’re unable to say “no,” you’ll be unable to say “yes” when it counts —including saying “yes” to your employees.
For example, say you run a marketing agency. Because you didn’t say “no” to a new client, you end up overextending your team members. Your employees might end up feeling stressed and burned out.
10. Create a Positive Work Culture
Ultimately, when you have a big ego, you’ll be less likely to be able to create a positive work culture, which I believe is the most vital element of running a successful business.
Your company is only as strong as the people on your team. When they feel like they’re working in a positive environment where they can thrive, that’s when your business can really grow and help others.
