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May was Mental Health Awareness Month. During this month, there might have been some deeply personal conversations at work about mental health challenges.
There has been, I’ve observed, a greater emphasis on vulnerability in the workplace in general. This emphasis has its benefits. For instance, according to survey findings by the nonprofit Catalyst, “the percentage of employees who say they are often creative, dedicated, and willing to go ‘above and beyond’ significantly increases when they view their manager as displaying openness more frequently and when their manager frequently displays vulnerability.”
But in my view, vulnerability at work, especially regarding mental health challenges, has its downsides as well. As employers, we need to think critically about boundaries between the personal and professional, not just for ourselves but for our employees, too.
Vulnerability Can Alter Professional Relationships for the Worse
As much as we might think of vulnerability as a positive thing, by not delineating between the personal and professional, we might be putting ourselves in bad situations. Can any of us say we’ve never used information about someone to make a decision — a decision that might not be in favor of them? For instance, an employee might tell you that they have a drinking problem. In light of that information, you might decide not to send them out of state for a conference because you fear they might damage your company’s reputation.
Drinking is a struggle I know firsthand. Every day, I live in recovery from alcoholism; I haven’t drunk alcohol for over two decades. I’m open about this. But I have no doubt that by being open about it, some people might have formed negative perceptions of me. That’s a risk I understood and took because, for me, it was important to show others that recovery is possible, and I accepted that I can’t help how people feel about me. But my decision isn’t necessarily the right one for everyone. Another business leader might not be in a position where they can risk such personal information being public; for example, they might be trying to secure venture capital funding, and if that information got out, they could lose opportunities. An employee might not want to reveal their struggles with addiction because it could put them in a bad situation where their boss’s opinion of them becomes tainted, and they have to scramble to re-prove themselves at work, putting their livelihood at risk. When we, as employers, encourage vulnerability in the workplace, we might be unintentionally putting ourselves and our employees in uncomfortable positions. Boundaries are key for both parties to succeed.
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Building Good Professional Relationships Isn’t About Divulging Information
More often than not, in my view, it’s better to be cautious about what we reveal as far as mental health struggles in the workplace. Some might argue that by holding back about mental health challenges, we’re not being our authentic selves at work.
However, I firmly believe that building good professional relationships isn’t about verbal information. It’s about actions, not words. Someone’s past and current challenges don’t necessarily need to be out in the open. For example, if I’m interviewing someone, I don’t need to know that they too struggled with addiction for years. What matters to me is that they can get the job done, and they won’t reveal that by telling me about who they were then and who they are now. Rather, they’ll reveal it by showing me what they do during a three-month trial period. From there, the other person and I will decide if we’re a good professional fit for each other. It’s a two-way street.
Instead of Trying to Rescue Employees, Let’s Empower Them
Vulnerability in the workplace could, I believe, create a rescuer-victim dynamic, with the employer in the rescuer role and the employee in the victim role. In my personal life, relationships that had this dynamic ended badly.
Instead of trying to rescue employees, let’s empower them. We, as leaders, do have an obligation to help our employees with their mental health —and we can do so in ways that protect their privacy. For instance, we can offer health insurance plans with comprehensive mental health coverage. We can inform employees about local mental health support lines and other resources. We can encourage employees to take days off to tend to their mental health without obligating them to tell us why they’re stepping out for the day.
Of course, there are some situations where employees might want to divulge certain mental health information. We can encourage a culture where employees feel comfortable divulging information on a need-to-know basis. For example, if an employee is a recovering alcoholic, and you regularly host client meetings at breweries, the employee should be able to pull you aside and tell you, “I enjoy meeting with our clients, but because of past struggles with alcohol, I’m not comfortable going to breweries. Is there a chance you could organize these meetings at coffee shops instead?”
As with everything in life, there’s room for nuance. But in general, I urge employers and employees to consider this: Let’s think about the reasons for having boundaries in the workplace before we throw them away.
