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It’s a fact of life that many relationships aren’t permanent, and professional relationships are no exception.
Professional relationships can end in various ways. Sometimes, they end positively (such as when, say, your business partner retires, but you’re both on good terms). Other times, they end neutrally (for instance, when one of your employees leaves after two years to change careers). However, there are instances when professional relationships can go completely sideways (for instance, when a business partner or employee breaks your trust and you have to cut ties). I’ve experienced the gamut of professional relationships reaching their end. The professional relationships that go downhill are, of course, the most challenging to deal with.
While I’m not a mental health expert, based on my own experience, here are five tips for gracefully navigating the ending of a professional relationship, particularly a negative one.
1. Accept the End of the Relationship—and Grieve
The ending of a professional relationship can hurt. Even if the ending was positive or neutral, it’s natural for it to feel sad or sting. For example, if your business partner retires, you suddenly have to run the company independently, which is a significant change. You’ll likely feel sad over their absence. If your employee leaves to change careers, you might be happy for them but a bit hurt that they chose not to continue working for your company.
The ending of a professional relationship is still an ending; a loss is a loss. In my view, it’s important to accept it—and grieve.
2. Focus on Your Happiness
While it’s essential to accept the end of a professional relationship and grieve, it’s also as important to focus on your happiness.
I’ve found that when I ruminate over what happened and all the “what ifs” after the end of a professional relationship, it’s tough for me to make progress in my career. Instead, when I focus on being happy, I can be more present at work and strengthen my ties to my team. If you keep focusing on the past, it takes you away from the present. You owe it to yourself and your team to live in the moment instead of constantly looking over your shoulder.
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3. Be Mindful of What and How Much You Share and to Whom
Especially if a professional relationship ends badly, it can be tempting to want to vent about the details to people in your life. But I’ve observed that doing so can backfire. You never know how someone can react to something you divulge about the professional relationship and who they might turn around and tell. Plus, if you’re not careful, you could land in legal trouble; the person you no longer have a professional relationship with could sue you for defamation.
My recommendation? Be mindful of what you share about the ending of a professional relationship, how much you share and to whom you divulge that information. A good rule of thumb, in my view, is that overall, less is more when it comes to sharing what happened.
4. Have a Game Plan for Future Potential Interactions
When a professional relationship ends, it’s crucial to have a game plan for future interactions. Even if a working relationship didn’t end on bad terms, the dynamic has still shifted. For example, you might be close to an employee to the point where you get their insights on your business decisions, but if that employee decides to leave, it’s probably not a wise move to keep confiding in them about your business decisions.
As for professional relationships that end badly, tread even more carefully. If you have them on social media, consider removing them or blocking them. If you know they’ll be at the same conference or award ceremony and you decide to go anyway, stay calm if you run into them. Or if you’re not yet comfortable with potentially encountering them, you might opt to skip a particular event until you’re OK with the chance of running into them.
5. Remember, the Way a Professional Relationship Ends Is Telling
When professional relationships end, we might fixate on them. If they end badly, we might end up questioning our perception of the other person and wondering if the bad ending isn’t indicative of who they truly are.
But in my view, the way a professional relationship ends is telling. In fact, I think it tells you all you need to know. Consider this: Say you and a collaborator have many great moments working together, from dynamic lunch conversations to fun memories traveling to conferences. But you find out that the collaborator was lying to you about important business details every step of the way. Sure, those good moments happened, but the reality is that the collaborator was lying the entire time. In my view, it’s crucial to avoid looking at the professional relationship through rose-tinted glasses.
Ultimately, Endings Can Pave the Way for Beginnings
Endings can pave the way for beginnings. In my life, I’ve found that when a professional relationship has ended for whatever reason, one that was better for where I was in my career eventually appeared. As the quote by novelist Paulo Coelho goes, “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”
