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Nine years ago, my life took an unexpected turn that began with a humble pot of pasta sauce and a dinner table. What started as a simple gathering has grown into a movement that has touched thousands of lives, proving that when we slow down, connect and lead with gratitude, we unlock the potential within ourselves and each other.
It was May 2015, and from the outside, my life looked incredible. I was producing a Broadway play in Rome, immersing myself in Italian culture and enjoying extravagant success. But when I returned to my 350-square-foot studio on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, something was missing. Despite the accolades, my heart felt empty.
Back home, I felt lonely, disconnected and insecure.
I asked myself: What was it about Italy that made me feel so alive? It wasn’t the play or the accolades. It was something much simpler. It was how Italians eat — with friends, savoring the moment, connecting over good food until the early morning hours. I realized: This is it. This is what I need to bring back to New York.
So, I started small: I made a pot of pasta sauce. On July 15, 2015, I invited 15 friends — none of whom knew each other — over for a dinner party. At 7:47 PM, I threw the pasta in the pot. But I did something different: I delegated. Strangers came together, working as a team to create a meal. And when we finally sat down for dinner, the atmosphere was electric. At one point, I stood up and asked the question that would change everything: “If you could give credit or thanks to one person in your life that you’ve never thought to thank, who would that be?”
What struck me was how transformative these dinners were — for me and for the people around the table.
They’d leave with new perspectives and do extraordinary things: start companies, change careers, pursue passions. And I realized that when we slow down, simplify and connect, our hearts heal. We start to see what’s possible instead of what’s wrong.
This recipe for life became the foundation for our PASTA framework: Pause, Ask, Shift, Take Action, Appreciate — a model for making human connection your purpose to thrive in 2025.
Pause
Pausing is a radical yet simple act that disrupts the frantic pace of modern life, creating a sacred space for intentionality, connection and growth. To pause is to give the gift of full presence — a rare and precious offering in a world starved for genuine connection. It transforms multitasking into mindful mono-tasking, shifting you from reactivity to intentionality.
Pausing quiets fears, reduces stress and fosters empathy, enabling meaningful engagement and shared understanding. It is the radical act of slowing down in a world rushing to speak, embracing silence and depth to uncover the richness of connection. By pausing before responding and letting conversations breathe, you create space for others to feel seen and heard. For leaders, a pause models vulnerability and encourages alignment by openly reflecting on what they bring to the moment. We can embrace the power of pause and create space by silencing distractions, overcoming our own mental hurdles with curiosity and compassion, and stepping into the present moment through active listening and service.
Ask
Questions are the heat that softens the pasta, breaking down barriers and inviting trust, vulnerability and transformation. In a world inundated with answers, thoughtful inquiry becomes the true differentiator, shifting focus from transactions to meaningful connections. Curiosity is an act of care, demonstrating that someone’s story matters and sparking self-awareness, growth and creativity.
Effective questioning moves from surface-level curiosity to trust-building inquiry and deep reflection, inspiring action and transformation. To achieve this depth, approach conversations with intentionality and balance — high challenge paired with high support. Craft questions that are open-ended, empathetic and reflective, such as “What’s a moment that shaped who you are?” or “What’s one insight from this challenge that surprised you?” Great questions remind us that curiosity is the gateway to empathy and innovation.
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Shift
Shift is the intentional act of reframing our perspective, embracing adaptability and finding meaning in every moment. Like adjusting the ingredients of a recipe to suit the occasion, shifting requires us to reframe challenges into opportunities and step beyond our comfort zones. It involves cultivating a mindset of growth and possibility — seeing what’s possible rather than what’s wrong.
Shifting invites us to view our experiences through a new lens, helping us embrace change with resilience and optimism. It challenges us to reimagine our relationships, our goals and our potential, fostering a sense of empowerment and creativity. By choosing to shift our perspective, we unlock doors to deeper connections, personal growth and sustainable impact. It’s about being open, flexible and willing to evolve in the pursuit of greater connection and fulfillment.
Take Action
Empathy becomes powerful when it evolves from understanding to action, serving as the bridge between connection and meaningful outcomes. It begins with listening and observing, but true impact comes from transforming those insights into tangible steps that inspire trust, hope and innovation. Empathy without action is empty; it requires adaptability, courage and a willingness to evolve based on others’ needs, much like refining a recipe.
By using the insights gained from the above pausing, asking and shifting, empathetic action ensures people feel valued and supported. All you need to do is adjust your approach to meet changing circumstances, ask how to provide meaningful support and consistently follow up to reinforce trust. Research shows empathetic leadership significantly boosts satisfaction and retention.
Appreciate
Gratitude is more than politeness; it’s the anchor of meaning that transforms fleeting connections into enduring impact. Rooted in reflection and deliberate acknowledgment, gratitude fosters trust, strengthens bonds and inspires collective growth. As Cicero said, “Gratitude is the parent of all virtues.”
By expressing specific appreciation — such as, “Your perspective clarified our strategy and was a game-changer” — and reflecting on its impact, gratitude broadens its reach, creating a ripple effect that fosters cultural change. Studies show that expressing gratitude increases trust by 50%, demonstrating its power to inspire collaboration and help find vicarious joy in the success of others (mudita).
Our PASTA framework — Pause, Ask, Shift, Take Action, Appreciate — provides a transformative approach to making human connection your purpose to thrive in 2025.
