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Parenting and gender identity are more complex topics than Ne-Yo treated them during his recent interview with Gloria Velez for VladTV. During their conversation, uploaded on Saturday, the musician questioned parents who allow their children to have a say in how they identify, asking: “When did it become a good idea to let a 5-year-old, let a 6-year-old, let a 12-year-old make a life-changing decision for themself?” The comments sparked swift backlash, and before the weekend ended, Ne-Yo apologized for his “insensitive and offensive” remarks.
“After much reflection, I’d like to express my deepest apologies to anyone that I may have hurt with my comments on parenting and gender identity,” he shared. “I’ve always been an advocate for love and inclusivity in the LGBTQI+ community, so I understand how my comments could’ve been interpreted as insensitive and offensive.”
During the interview, Ne-Yo expressed a disconnect between his understanding of gender identity, stating: “I just personally come from an era where a man was a man and a woman was a woman. And there was two genders, and that’s just how I rocked. You could identify as a goldfish if you feel like, I don’t care. That ain’t my business. It becomes my business when you try to make me play the game with you. I’m not gonna call you a goldfish. But if you wanna be a goldfish, you go be a goldfish.”
To further support his opinion, the musician — who is a father of seven — created an example scenario using a 5-year-old who identifies as a girl. “I feel like parents have almost forgotten what the role of a parent is,” he said. “If your little boy comes to you and says, ‘Daddy, I want to be a girl.’ And you just let him rock with that? He’s 5 … If you let this 5-year-old boy decide to eat candy all day, he’s gonna do that … He can’t drive a car yet, but he can decide his sex?”
Ne-Yo’s initial response was to double down and defend his right to have an opinion, writing in the comments of an Instagram Post to clarify: “I’m not asking anybody to agree with me nor am I telling you what you can and cannot do with your children. I stated my opinion on a matter and that’s that. Why should I care if my opinion upsets you when you don’t care if yours upsets anyone?”
But especially in the context of gender identity, opinions have real-world consequences. Just last week, AP Psychology was “effectively banned” in Florida schools due to a state law that forbids any instruction of sexual orientation and gender identity from kindergarten through grade 12. This year alone, nearly 80 anti-LGBTQ bills have been passed into law across the country, according to the ACLU’s legislative tracker. Many of those bills, including the ones that have yet to be passed, target schools and healthcare as well as free speech and expression. And this only scratches the surface, beneath which children gaining an understanding of their gender identity in volatile parenting environments often face violence and detrimental impacts on their mental health.
“Gender identity is nuanced and I can honestly admit that I plan to better educate myself on the topic, so I can approach future conversations with more empathy,” Ne-Yo continued in his statement. “At the end of the day, I lead with love and support for everyone’s freedom of expression and pursuit of happiness.”
