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The first Saturday Night Live since Donald Trump‘s second inauguration began with the Republican president interrupting the signing of the Declaration of Independence–which Lin-Manuel Miranda had begun to rap about–in order to proclaim that he’s in his “king era.”
Trump (James Austin Johnson) proceeded to defend his actions thus far, which include ending security details for former officials who have been receiving death threats, pardoning about 1,500 Jan. 6 rioters, saying he wants to get rid of FEMA, signing an order aimed at ending birthright citizenship, and directing the government to recognize two genders and end DEI practices, among many others.
“Just like the FoundingFathers, I am creating a newcountry as well.And just like them, we’re doingit very whitely. DEI is over.It’s dead.Workplaces must go back tolooking like the TV show The Office,” he said, before taunting Miranda.
“Look at Lin.He got tricked into coming here. Now he’s frozen on stage,” he said as Miranda and others held their places in the darkened background.
“But it’s been a great firstweek.I’ve done more in the past fouryears than ‘Sleepy Joe’ and Kamaladid in the past four years, all thanks to my beautifulexecutive orders.From now on, there will be twogenders.One to work, and one to cook,” Trump went on.
“And we’re done with LGBT.No more drag, no more guys inwigs, no more whatever theseguys were wearing,” he continued, signaling behind him. “What a weird way to dress,right?A little zesty. ‘Darling, I’m off to startAmerica!Hand me my wig and my tights andmy big blousy shirts.’So we’re going to go back tocommon sense in regards togender.And the women will wear themakeup.No more makeup on men…unless you need it to bepresident.”
Trump then referenced his executive orders withdrawing the U.S. from the Paris Climate Agreement and the World Health Organization. This was achieved, Trump said, “using something Icall the pullout method–something, frankly, I wish I dida lot more in the 1980s.Eric!”
He also praised Pete Hegseth, the scandal-plagued former Fox News host who was barley confirmed as Secretary of Defense on Friday night.
“He said he was going to startdrinking if he got the job, andthat’s all I needed to hear.‘I’ll never drink again!’ The famous promise people makeright into the toilet,” Trump said, before taunting Miranda some more.
“He wrote a whole rap, and hedoesn’t get to do it.Ah, the audience would have eatenthat right up.But we’re not going to hear it.He’s in sniffing distance of anEGOT and he’s got to standthere ’till I’m done,” Trump said, as Miranda began to crack. “Linnie, linnie, linnie, linnie.Laura Linney.Lin-Manuel Miranda Cosgrove.There he is.He’s such a mor-an.”
