'SNL' Cold Open: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler Team Up as Drama Queens Kristi Noem, Pam Bondi

Saturday Night Live host Amy Poehler and fellow ex-SNL cast member Tina Fey parodied Attorney General Pam Bondi and Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem during a congressional hearing, cutting a pro-ICE advertisement along the way.

Poehler’s portrayal of the attorney general was of an evasive Trump loyalist who loves to play the victim and insult senators.

After refusing to tell the truth during her swearing-in, the Trump appointee was asked whether her boss directed her to prosecute his political opponents, as a mistakenly public Truth Social post by the president intended for Bondi makes clear.

“Before I don’t answer, Iwould like to insult youpersonally: Senator Blumenthal, look at thishonky.Even people in Connecticut go,‘Damn, that guy is white as hell,’” she said to the lawmaker (Mikey Day.) “That is just one of the manyroast-style burns I have here onthis paper.Don’t make me use them.”

When questioned about whether the FBI found photos of Trump with half-naked young women when they raided sex offender and former Trump pal Jeffrey Epstein‘s property, she replied: “Sir, I’m not even going to dignify that question with a lie.”

Poehler’s character added later: “I tried reading the Epsteinfiles but I got really bored.It’s so repetitive. Trump this,Trump that. Yawn!”

A question about Immigration and Customs Enforcement operations caused her to refer questions to the Homeland Security Secretary. Fey then entered to rock music, tossing her semiautomatic weapon aside.

“I’m the raresttype of person in Washington,D.C: a brunette that DonaldTrump listens to,” she boasted.“I’m here to tell you that thisDemocrat government shutdownneeds to end now.”

After Day said Democrats “are evenmore eager to end this shutdownthan our Republican colleagues,” Fey remarked: “That makes me laugh more thanthe end of Old Yeller.”

In her 2024 memoir, Noem recalled shooting and killing her puppy and goat—an admission that also killed her chances of being Trump’s running mate.

The duo then defended ICE agents, and cut an advertisement to recruit more:

Fey: Do you need a job now?

Poehler: Yeah

Fey: Are you a big, tough guy?

Poehler: Yeah.

Fey: Tough enough for the army or police?

Poehler: No.

Fey: But do you take supplements that you bought at the gas station?

Poehler: Daily.

Fey: Do you like to use zip ties beacuse people in your life don’t trust you with keys?

Poehler: You know it.

Fey: Then buckle up and slap on some Oakleys, big boy. Welcome to ICE.

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