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Steve Martin, during his monologue for Saturday Night Live‘s 50th anniversary special, got his Canadian pal Martin Short into an unfortunate situation with Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
“I’m Steve Martin, Saturday Night Live‘s newest diversityhire,” began Martin, who first appeared on the late night show in the 1970s and has since hosted 16 times. “What a thrill it is to be here.When I heard SNL wanted to doan anniversary special, I wantedto leap in the air!And the only reason I didn’t isbecause at the time, I waswearing a short skirt with nounderwear.”
“I can’t believe I made it herein time,” Martin recalled. “It was only a few days ago thatLorne [Michaels] told me I was doing themonologue, and I was actuallyvacationing on a friend’s boatdown in the Gulf of SteveMartin.”
“Saturday Night Live, as youknow, turned 50 years old thisyear, and I turned 79. But I feel like I’m 65, which isalso not good,” Martin joked. “Seriously, I do not mindgetting older.Do you think these hearing aidsmake my ass look smaller?I do.”
After “honoring” SNL writers — located outside in the rain — in a segment he said was written by artificial intelligence, fellow comedian John Mulaney joined Martin onstage.
“We writers really appreciated that tribute, but Ibelieve the heart and soul ofthis show is the celebrityhosts, many of whom are in this roomtonight,” Mulaney said. “As I look around, Isee some of the most difficultpeople I have ever met in myentire life.Over the course of 50 years, 894people have hosted Saturday Night Live, and it amazes methat only two of them havecommitted murder.”
Mulaney continued: “Each week, a newcelebrity host comes in withtheir own dynamic and they throweverything off.But not you, Steve, because youhave no dynamic.”
After Mulaney exited, Short arrived, with Martin introducing him as “the only Canadian who wasn’t inSchitt’s Creek.”
When Short told him he thought the two — who have toured together several times — would be co-hosting the show, Martin asked, “Do you have your passport on you?”
“No,” Short replied empty-handed, prompting Martin to call out: “ICE! Get him!”
While being dragged away by two agents, Short pledged to cooperate.
“Don’t take me!I’ll name names!” he yelled, before listing other prominent Canadians in the industry. “Mike Myers! Jim Carrey!Catherine O’Hara! Damn you, you white-haired sonof a bitch!”
Martin closed his monologue with a special message for any viewer who wasn’t enjoying it:
Maybe you should get up and takea good look at yourself in themirror, and say to yourself, ‘Whathave I become?This can’t be Steve’s fault.’ And ask yourselves,‘When did I abandon joy?’ And: ‘What can I bring to themonologue as an audience membernext time?’
